Are the fates of millennial relationships doomed by dating apps? I downloaded The Inner Circle and took it for a spin but, the results are less than romantic.
I’m not really the type of girl to write about my dating life (seeing as it’s non-existent) but, this one experience has stayed with me for so long that I feel the need to share.
Finding a decent dude to talk to–let alone date–is nearly impossible in Toronto. All these new dating and hook-up apps aren’t helping anyone. You might even say traditional dating, is dead.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been getting lots of ads for The Inner Circle. You know, the one claiming to be different and better than Tinder?
Well, obviously I took the bait and decided to check it out. Don’t lie, we’ve all checked out one app or dating site at some point.
Here’s what I procured from my experiment.
It’s definitely different than Tinder . . . First off, everyone has to be approved. When you download the app, you are reviewed as an applicant and The Inner Circle chooses whether you are worthy enough to compete in the lost art of dating. This screening process seems to filter out all the mouth breathers, societal degenerates and children you might find on Tinder or elsewhere. What’s left are financially stable human beings and people with real jobs. Boring. In order to get full access to your messages and profile views you have to buy a membership, but you’re still able to send messages to people from all over the world without one.
Oh yeah, and the people are generally better looking than Tinder.
Anyway, this guy Patrick messages me. Patrick is a financial analyst who lives downtown on King West. He goes to South America for ski trips and likes to talk about himself.
He invites me on a date to Belfast Love, assuming he’s trying to be sensitive to the fact that I’m Irish.
Let me give you a little backstory first, that whole day was a write-off. It was right around the time when the “me too” hashtag exploded over the internet so, I was feeling particularly hostile towards men.
I arrive and he’s waiting at the bar. To my surprise, he’s actually as good looking in person as in his photos. Now, I’m not about to make this easy for him but very quickly he starts making it very hard for me. He begins going on about how he travels purely for alpine adventures in South America and how he works in the financial district as a corporate analyst. All the while, failing to ask me anything. So, I ask him,
“Do you smoke weed?” Hoping he’ll redeem himself.
He doesn’t. More of a drinker, you see.
Drinking’s not my thing but, I’ll indulge–I’m no prude. However, if you pride yourself on keeping your body clean but, consume alcohol while condemning cannabis—I have a problem. I also don’t trust straight-edge people. Just as a side note. If you can firmly oppose something you have never tried, you don’t trust yourself, ergo; I don’t trust you.
He didn’t agree with me. Fair, I let this one slide.
The Boy was Doomed
He started talking about something political he was reading in the newspaper. Now, I’m certainly not the most plugged in when it comes to the intricacies of politics, civil or international, but, I knew Harper was bad and I know it is your duty as a Canadian citizen to vote.
Before long he revealed to me that he did not vote in the 2015 election. You know, the one that everyone emerged from their apathetic basements to come out and vote?
“I don’t need to vote. It’s not like my life is going to change either way when I wake up tomorrow. I live in Canada,” he said.
The rage was bubbling inside me. I could feel the rancor of so many women and other minorities who have never been privileged enough to say that. In such a state of shock, I was speechless. It was only when he began talking about voting for Harper’s original term that I had to cut him off.
“I’m sorry, should I just get up and leave right now? Because, I don’t think you understand what you just said,” I countered.
Immediately, he threw it back in my face. He got up in a huff, told me I needed to respect other people’s opinions and that this date is done. I was completely thrown off guard by his childish and hostile reaction I actually apologised, asking him to clarify his point. It was too late and he stormed out in a huff without finishing his sentence.
The Inner Circle is no different. It’s no deeper than Tinder.
Men need to learn how to express themselves without being chauvinistic misogynists. Learn to have a conversation with deferring opinions.
Would guys still be jerks if they got reviews on dating sites? Hell, would anyone be as much of a jerk if their exes could reveal dirt before you waste your valuable time . . . again?